Dear Sparkly Unicorn Friends,
I freely admit that I’m not the trendiest unicorn in the blessing. I’m 47, though, so cut me some slack, k? I’m -- gratefully -- at the age where I’m comfortable marching to the beat of my own drum.
Although I’ve said before that I live under a rock, it’s more like I camp out there from time to time. Some things zip past me completely unheeded. Like *ahem* bullet journals. Other trends do grab my attention. Some, I’m simply aware of, with no desire to partake, like goat yoga and those Snapchat animal filters. For others, like novelty socks and salted caramelanything, I’m all, “Sign. Me. UP!”
And then there are those trends -- like mindfulness -- that I sort ofdabble in.
The concept of mindfulness has been around for a long time. Originally a Buddhist meditation technique, it gained widespread acceptance in the West in the 1970s. But it’s picked up speed in recent years. By late 2017, Psychology Today called it “the hottest new wellness trend."
Today, the term “mindfulness” is often bandied about to remind people to turn off their screens and live in the moment. Put down the phone, countless articles advise, and enjoy the concert, the wedding, the vacation, the time walking the dogs. This is where my dabbling comes in and I expect that I’m not the only one. Because mindfulness isn’t just about tucking your phone in your back jeans pocket for a couple hours. Real mindfulness takes effort.
In a HuffPost piece, Dr. Kurt Smith explains that:
… being mindful is the practice of actively paying attention and exerting the effort to be purposely aware of your surroundings and the people with whom you interact. Being mindful also requires us to focus on what is happening now and everything that is a part of that “now” – things like sights, sounds, touch, smells, thoughts and feelings.
But wait. It goes even deeper. Mindfulness is about letting go of judgment, particularly judgment of ourselves. It’s about training your “mind to observe [your] own thoughts, feelings, and sensations with an objective view.”
So, yeah, it’s not as easy as turning your screens off. Rats. You gotta work at it.
The effort is worth it, though. Mindfulness practice has a whack of proven benefits, including:
Maybe it's not as easy as picking out a new pair of superhero socks, but it’s tempting to give this trend a whirl, isn’t it? But where do you even start? How do you learn how to be truly mindful? Sassy cats, do you really need to ask? I blog for SohoSpark.You know where I’m going with this.
Start with a mindfulness journal.
Reflecting on your thoughts and feelings as you record them in a writing journal is already a mindful practice. But a little bit of guidance will help you delve more deeply into true mindfulness. Luckily for you, I’ve done the research. All you need to do is read on for tips. And then, you know, actually pick up a pen and start writing. Just sayin’. Because that’s where I, for one, will stall.
Stream of Consciousness Writing
Tapping into your stream of consciousness is a terrific way to improve self-awareness. It’s basically an emotional brain dump.
If you meditate, it can be helpful to do that before you start writing. Otherwise, Shelley Klammer has some great advice. Find a quiet, safe, comfortable spot. Relax, close your eyes, and quiet your mind. To keep your stream of consciousness mindful, ask yourself what you’re feeling in that moment. Once thoughts start filtering back in, write them down, uncensored, even if they don’t make sense. You can give yourself a time limit (10-15 minutes is a common suggestion) or a page limit (like the three “morning pages” suggested by Elizabeth Cameron). Or, if you’re in a groove and have the time, you can just write until you deplete your stream of thoughts.
This type of journaling is incredibly powerful. As Paul Schlosberg points out: “Practicing regularly can increase mindfulness, self-awareness, deepen one’s sense of mental and emotional clarity, and generally improve one’s sense of self, and self-efficacy."
Write Yourself a Letter
A big part of mindfulness is being objective, non-judgmental, and compassionate about our own thoughts and feelings. That can be difficult. When you’re wrapped up in worry, or feeling regretful or embarrassed, it can be hard to let go of those emotions.
Sarah Garone over at brit.co has a terrific tip. She advises writing yourself a letter. Do it up in the lined journal or personal diary that you’re using as a mindfulness journal. Write in the third person, as though you were offering a dear friend reassurance and kindness. These “letters” can guide you towards self-compassion and personal insight.
Keep a Gratitude Journal
Gratitude and mindfulness are very much interconnected. Gratitude is about being attuned to what’s going on around you so that you can notice your blessings. Keeping a gratitude journal is one way to become more mindful.
What about you, you sassy cat? Do you already keep a mindfulness journal? Or do you practice mindfulness in other ways? I’d love to hear from you if you do. Drop me a comment below, yo, and keep being your fabulously sparkly self.
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Of course you want more joy in your life. Who wouldn't?
Joy and gratitude are very much interconnected. In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown notes: "Without exception, every person I interviewed who described living a joyful life or who described themselves as joyful, actively practiced gratitude and attributed their joyfulness to their gratitude practice."
Journaling can help develop and enhance your gratitude practice - and so too it can help develop and enhance your joy. Here are six tips to help you get started.
How do you feel about new beginnings? The uncertainty of what's to come can be scary, exciting, nerve-wracking, overwhelming.
You can take control of each new beginning by setting intentions. Intentions are not goals. A goal is something that you work towards and check off your list when it’s done. Intentions are about your way of living. They're about who you want to be in this world and how you want to show up. Intentions are rooted in mindfulness and gratefulness.
Many people set intentions through meditation alone. But, you can absolutely set intentions in a blank notebook and there are several benefits to doing so.
Bullet journals, in particular, are known for their splashy, artistic spreads, like those tagged as #bulletjournalspreads over at Instagram. One look at all the flowers, cartoon characters, and pastel colors, and some men might decide that, nah, bullet journaling is NOT for them. As one Redditor says, he was initially “blown away by all the girls with fancy tape and stuff.”
Here's the thing, though: journaling is what you want it to be.No one says you HAVE TO use “fancy tape” but no one says you CAN’T. Stop worrying about what your journal should look like and just start writing.